Faces, Places, Bits 'n' Pieces

I thought I'd tell you a nice summery story today, seeing as we're all desperately trying to avoid the inevitable onset of autumn. A couple of weeks ago I was on the beach with my partner - I know, actually sunbathing on the beach only a couple of weeks ago, can you believe it? Being a South African who's only used to dazzlingly white, babysoft sandy beaches, he usually rents one of those green foam mattresses when we go to Brighton beach (well, Hove actually), while I bravely endure the painful bed of pebbles like a true Brit.

The way the mattress system works is that there's a pile of them on every beach, along with deckchairs, parasols and the elusive sunloungers. You help yourself to what you fancy, then a little while later a friendly man comes along and asks for your money. But the amazing thing is, no matter how many times we've done this, whether on a quiet Wednesday afternoon in spring or on a manically busy weekend at the height of summer, this man (yes, always the same one) never fails to approach us for the money and has never asked us twice. Not once. Ever.

We've often wondered how on earth he keeps track of the hoards of people who constantly borrow his beachware throughout the day. So, finally, we asked him. And his answer was "Faces, places, bits 'n' pieces". Basically, he has a photographic memory and uses visual cues to remember who is sitting where on the beach, e.g. the tattooed man with the white baseball cap, the couple with the orange baby buggy, etc. But what if they move, we asked? Well, he assigns several cues to each person based on their location, appearance and who they're with. Fascinating, eh!

And guess what cue he assigned to us? That's easy, he said, how could he forget the man lying on the nice comfortable mattress while his poor girlfriend suffered on the stones beside him?! Ha!